Why are mornings so hard after a breakup?

Waking is when the body's stress hormones are naturally at their highest and there is nothing yet to distract you, so the loss lands again before the day has started. A short, kind routine gives those first minutes somewhere to go.

What is a good morning routine after a breakup?

Something short and undemanding rather than ambitious. This one runs four steps: slow breathing to settle the body, a few minutes of self-compassion, journaling to get the looping thoughts out of your head, then one thing worth holding onto. About 45 minutes.

How long does it take?

About 45 minutes in full. On the rawest mornings the breathing and one kind thought are enough, and that still counts.

Will this make me feel better?

Not straight away, and it is not meant to. It is a steadier way to start the day while grief does what grief does. If the low mood is not shifting over weeks, or you are struggling to eat or sleep, that is worth raising with a doctor or therapist.

The First Fortnight After a Breakup

Quality: Exceptional· 100%Effort: Manageable· 047m

Mornings might be the hardest part at first.

Swap out waking up with feeling like you’ve been hit in the gut for a calmer start to your day. Begin with some specific breathing techniques, then a meditation, sort out some of your thoughts by writing about them, and finish with gratitude to turn up the pleasant feelings.

The runsheet

1
Ten minutes of slow breathing
Breath work
A few slow breaths to take the morning's first wave down a notch before you do anything else.
10 min activitySetup 1 min · Reset 1 min · 12 min all-in
Bearmore’s thoughts on doing breath work before meditation (compassion)
These go especially well together because regulated breath settles the system, freeing room for warm, caring feelings to surface.
2
Be kind to yourself in this meditation
Meditation (compassion)
A few minutes of kindness toward yourself, the way you would treat a mate going through it. You are allowed to be kind with yourself right now.
12 min activitySetup 1 min · Reset 1 min · 14 min all-in
Bearmore’s thoughts on doing meditation (compassion) before journaling
This is one of the stronger pairings because compassion softens the inner voice, so writing may come more vulnerably instead of self-attacking.
3
Journal it out
Journaling
Get the looping out of your head and onto the page. There’s no specific structure needed, just write whatever is there in your mind, and it might help it to stop circling.
12 min activitySetup 1 min · Reset 1 min · 14 min all-in
Bearmore’s thoughts on doing journaling before gratitude
This pairing is especially effective because writing can bring up real moments from the day, giving your gratitude practice something genuine to focus on.
4
One piece of gratitude to hold on to
Gratitude
One thing worth holding onto today, however small. Not to paper over it, just to widen the view a little.
5 min activitySetup 1 min · Reset 1 min · 7 min all-in
Time well spent.
47m spent doing something good for yourself.

The breakdown

Burst evaluation

QualityExceptional· 100%

Sequencing100%

Logistics100%

DifficultyManageable· 0

Total activity47m / 60mGentle

Physical activity10m / 29mGentle

Mental focus29m / 29mGentle

Introspection29m / 29mGentle

Creativity12m / 59mGentle

+ 4 more conditionsHow we assess →

Wellbeing focus

The relative wellbeing focus of this Burst.

HighEmotional

MedPhysical

HighSelf

HighSocial

MedIntellectual

About this Burst

A helpful morning routine for the first weeks after a breakup, when waking up is the hardest part of the day. It settles the body with breathwork, uses meditation to direct some kindness toward yourself, gives the looping thoughts a way to be processed, and ends on one thing worth keeping in mind. This is not a quick fix, but a sensible way to start the day that will bring benefits.

Breakups & relationships Steady the stress Morning Quick (under an hour)New

Common questions

The First Fortnight After a Breakup47m · free in the app47m · free in the app