Wise Adult Check-In
Designed by Bearmore
Inspired by Terry RealHow do you want to turn up today?
Choose which version of you is at the wheel, get the clear on the boundary you need today, write down what you want to remember after the hard conversation. A short morning Burst inspired by couples therapist Terry Real's relational work.
The runsheet
Wise adult
Terry's 'wise adult' framing: which version of you do you want at the wheel today? Sit quietly and ask. Often the wise one is not the first one to speak.
20 min activityBearmore’s thoughts on doing self-guided inquiry before intention setting
This is an excellent pairing because setting intentions builds on the self-knowledge from your inquiry.
Boundaries
Decide one boundary you are not letting slip today, in a specific conversation. Terry's relational work hinges on rehearsing the line before you need it. Say it out loud.
10 min activityBearmore’s thoughts on doing intention setting before journaling
This is a strong pairing because journaling gives you space to unpack whatever came up during intention setting, whether it was about stress, a future event, or life more broadly.
Note the important bits
Write down what you want to remember after a hard exchange today. Terry's framing: the version of you who holds the line is the version worth becoming.
10 min activityTime well spent.
50m that belonged to you — not the inbox, not anyone else.
The breakdown
Burst evaluation
Wellbeing focus
About this Burst
Terry Real is an American family therapist and founder of the Relational Life Institute. His books include I Don't Want to Talk About It, The New Rules of Marriage and Us. He has appeared on Oprah and across major US press for over thirty years and trains therapists in his relational approach.